This International Women’s Day, Let’s Look At What’s Going Right and What We Can Improve On
First, let me just say Happy International Women’s Day to all my women out there. I know people joke around saying, “Why isn’t there an international men’s day?”, but it is so important that women have a day that is recognized as a worldwide effort for “celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women”—according to the International Women’s Day website. But there’s also the part of International Women’s Day that fights for gender equality.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year, gender equality has been a hot topic in the media and sparks conversations both online and offline. I know that I’ve been talking about it with friends, coworkers and with my social media groups, but I think now more than ever, women need to evaluate exactly how we’re approaching women’s rights and feminism.
The Witch Hunts Needs To Go
It’s so easy to get riled up about women’s rights, especially when it comes to the sexual assault allegations coming out of Hollywood, or the wage gap in most countries around the world, the
physical abuse of women in developing nations, and even sexual harassment in everyday life. Not to say we shouldn’t have a passionate response, but perhaps a bit more of a careful one.
When hear these stories coming out, we can’t always take them for face value. Because stories are just that!—They are narratives people create to tell what happened. Of course, there are statistics that prove some of the stories—such as the wage difference between men and women, or physical evidence, but then there’s areas that are a bit more fuzzy, like with sexual assault stories. And this isn’t to say everything is completely fictional and jazzed up just to make it into a readable, news making story (example: Harvey Weinstein’s allegations are completely backed up and real), but there are instances where women tell a story that lacks proof or witnesses, or misses key details for both parties involved. And it’s sad to say, but some women, especially with some of the Hollywood stories, are out to get even with men, make their name into a headline, or take advantage of money (like with the Stan Lee accusations where the women accusing, demanded a certain amount of money be paid to them). Just like men are sometimes out to make life harder for women. It works both ways.
The Narratives, The Grey Area and The Power
Let’s take, for example, the woman who came out about Aziz Ansari. When I first read the story, I was very riled up thinking, wow, Aziz should have really learned some social cues to see she wasn’t fully into it and he’s totally in the wrong. But then when I re-read it and cut out some of the narrative techniques the editor used to publish the story, I realized that the woman in the story was also to blame because she kept going with the advancements and never walked out. In a lot of cases, unless there is substantial proof, witnesses or accounts of a record, it’s hard to say that the stories circulating on social media are all true. But it also doesn’t negate the fact that women are scared of men.
It’s sad that women are scared of the power of men, when we’re equally as strong and powerful creatures—especially when that’s what we say about ourselves on a regular basis. There are a fair amount of creepy, disrespectful men out there. And yes, it is fair to go after these men when it’s deserved and when the stories are full of fact and evidence. But it’s also not fair to lump all men in the same category of being terrible, disgusting men who won’t fight for gender equality. Because then it becomes a Witch Hunt against all men. Just like men once had a witch hunt against women—a literal one. Does it help the case to pit the power of women against all men? No!
But is that what I see happening on social media everyday? You betcha.
Sure, you may not see men wearing Time’s Up shirts, or proclaiming their pledge to feminism, but at the same time, women like myself won’t be doing it either. I’m on board with the ideals of feminism, but I’m not really on board with women attacking all men. Because the issues at hand aren’t always black and white, we can’t create a binary that divides men and women even more when the basis is to drive equality.
An Approach To Equality and International Women’s Day
I know that I’ve been catcalled, touched when I didn’t want to be, and given the most uncomfortable vibes from many men over the years—even when I was far too young for men to really be stared at in a sexual way (we’re talking late pre-teen years here). But there’s also been men in my life who have shown nothing but respect and support for women’s equality. In fact, the most important men in my life will always campaign for equality.
So instead of focusing our energies on attacking all men, let’s focus on building each other up and changing the societal narrative. Let’s work together with men to teach the next generation what is acceptable behaviour and how both genders are equal. Because in the world coming up, there won’t only be male and female—there will be way more ways people identify. Instead of bringing down men, we should work together to make everyone an equal. We’ve proven we can do it successfully with racism—which still has its problematic areas—but it’s clearly something that can be achieved when resources are pooled together and there are common goals.
So on this International Women’s Day, give out compliments to the women in your life that make a difference and make you feel proud. By building each other up and taking out the bad apples out of the bunch—both bad men and bad women—then we’re left with a much healthier and equal society. Will it happen overnight? Not necessarily. But if we take a step back and truly work together instead of sensationalizing the stories and pitting people against each other, then we will see steps towards progress. And maybe we don’t need to give every new movement a title, but just know that with each step we make, it’s one step closer to equality for everyone.
After this thought-provoking post, I want to know your thoughts on the current media surrounding women’s rights and sexual assault. Where do you think we need to go with these movements and should they be reevaluated? Leave a comment below and if you’d like to take a look at last year’s IWD post of women who inspire me, check it out here!
I really enjoyed reading this vanessa! such a great blog post! I appreciate you as a friend that one day I will meet! xoxox #youinspireme
Author
Thanks Leslie! I too hope we meet one day 🙂